9:18 pm. I’m hanging in there. I realized sometime today that I must refocus. This is normally the time in my journey when I begin to falter and convince myself I don’t really want what I’m striving for. How I figured that out I’m not sure but I know it is true about me. In fact the realization just hit me. Earlier today I saw all the things I wouldn’t mind eating. Most of this past 2 weeks it didn’t really bother me to see different types of foods. The smells haven’t gotten to me or anything. Then for some reason the stress of the day made me want to drink some soda or eat a piece of meat. Not in an obsessive way mind you but just a sort of I can fall off the wagon just long enough to consume this one thing…..then I’ll get right back on. Lucky for me I couldn’t go through with it. I just kept thinking this isn’t even about me. See, I break promises to myself ALL THE TIME! This is about my obedience to God. That is a promise I can’t break. Not this time.
So, I get home and after a snack that sort of became dinner I checked my progress on operation finish my degree. Turns out they’ve already posted the materials for my next class. I thought it would be Corporate Finance but it turns out it is Marketing. I’ve got my work cut out for me. I intend to remain focused and to take the time to do what I have to do to be successful these next 22 weeks. It is time I finish what I’ve started. One project at a time.
My energy today was great. Although my body betrayed me during a meeting. So, I’m sitting in the conference room next to my client, the Director of Operations. We’re sitting there and my stomach starts growling…LITERALLY. I looked down at my stomach wondering if anyone else can hear it. Then I look up as it grumbles again and the client is looking at me. I must have had this look as if to say, ” Can you hear that, too?” because he starts laughing and asks, “Are you alright?” All I could do was laugh. My stomach wasn’t hurting. I didn’t need to use the restroom. I wasn’t hungry. And, I didn’t have gas. Yet it was gurgling and growling as if I hadn’t eaten in forever. I was so embarrassed. I was really glad the people on the other side of the table didn’t hear it. I would have really been teased then. Anyway, Day 14 is done.