I’m restless

Literally it has been just over a week and I’m already restless. I can hardly believe it. It isn’t like I don’t deserve a six week break. It isn’t as if I have a ton of stuff that must be done right this minute. I can spare six weeks during the summer to get my head right, can’t I?

I’m feeling strangely disconnected from everything and everyone. Spending this last six months in school became so much a part of me that now I feel like something is missing. Worst, I feel like I should hurry and put something in the now empty space. I don’t want to but I feel like I should. Maybe. Instead I’m going to force myself to breathe by remembering all the things I used to do for myself but haven’t had the time to do. Like, exercise. I haven’t been to the gym or done any physical activity since I took the one afrofit class at church. That 20 minutes almost killed me, lol. And I’m in shape. I haven’t been to the Korean sauna in more than a year. I haven’t juiced for fitness in over a year either although I keep bringing home juice ingredients. Maybe. This is a six week thing I can pull together.

The review of my intention listed a stronger faith relationship with God! It included an increased level of fitness and the ever present desire to decrease my debt by 20% over the course of the year. Finally, I still want to launch and grow an online business. If all else fails I can always finish cleaning my house, lol….smh.


I’m back. I’m finished with my first intention of the year. It only took six months, lol, but I’m finished. I’m going to look back in a bit and really see what else I had planned for this year. I’m probably already working on that. Just the other day I came across a stack of intentions in the form of action plans I’d created over a year ago. I realized I was well ahead of the intentions I set back then based on the order in which I placed them. It is similar to the intentions I set way back when in my early 20’s. Similar to the experience I should say. Back then I was getting ready to move to Hawaii from Kansas with the United States Army. I sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down all the things I planned to do. Back then I didn’t fully understand the concept of setting SMART goals. I was extremely vague and simply placed the goals in a hierarchy of short term, intermediate, and long term goals. I put the piece of paper away and went on to live my life. A full 8 years later I was going through some papers and found that list of goals. The amazing thing for me what I’d completed every goal on the list. I completed them within the order and the time limit I’d set.

The lesson in that for me was the realization if I put it on paper I can make manifest of it. Since I’ve grown I also now understand the plan is everything. I don’t necessarily have a lot of time. But I have some time. I’ve already set an intention to rest for a minimum of six weeks. During my final course I created a business plan. I’ve got to admit the most difficult part of the plan’s creation was acknowledging the idea is a viable idea. It helped that I had instructor feed back that was extremely positive. A little over a year ago before I got to my current assignment I was sitting at my desk at work staring out at the landscaping when one of the executives stopped by. She was waiting for her lunch guest. I’m not sure how we got on the conversation but she asked me if I started a business what type of business would I start. I told her my idea admitting I didn’t have it totally fleshed out. I was surprised at the response she gave me. It was equally positive and she seemed surprised. Later in the conversation she admitted she would not have thought of that idea but she understood how it is needed in the marketplace. When my assignment was complete the same executive encouraged me to pursue the idea.

Even still when I submitted the mission, vision, and values of my proposed organization to the instructor for approval the feedback was very encouraging. I was crazy busy this semester. My work schedule had changed to rotating shifts. I prayed for and received the short straw to work overnights 12 hours at a time. The blessing in all that is the shifts are only three to four days a week and the most days in a row is three. Nights are a lot less challenging than the days. I’ve had my share of the days. The others have not. They deserve a chance to deal with that. My turn on day shift begins in August. In the meanwhile, I’m going to rest. I’m going to read. I’m going to practice my hobbies. And, I’m going to take care of myself.